The worst thing about this program (and there are many bad things) isn’t how it skips over miscarriages and resurrections as episode fodder but the way in which it formulates relationships and the way women crumble around men. It makes being devastated desirable, rather than “strong and safe.” Safety becomes a bad thing, strength becomes a given, much better to be shattered by someone who has done nothing but manipulate you. A Divergent quotation comes to mind: “even though he saved me, he treated me like I was strong.” But in the case of the UES, damsel or strong woman are the only two options and by golly, why would you sacrifice the opportunity to be devastated? Yeah, that’s a guy you should fight for.

The reason why the dialogue was so damn wonderful between Dan and Blair this season was because that was a healthy, interesting relationship that only broke down when the writers decided they needed to pull out the old stuff (cheating at events related to the Shepherd family, aforementioned ultimatums, rooftop spats, getting screwed over by your dad, Serena on drugs).